How to Choose and Use Your First Dildo: Beginner's Guide

By Pink Lifestyle Editorial · Updated 9 October 2026 · 7-minute read

New to sex toys and thinking about your first dildo? Good choice. A dildo is one of the simplest, most versatile toys you can own: no batteries, no settings, just you setting the pace. This guide covers what to look for, what size to start with, and exactly how to use it so your first time feels comfortable and good.

Why a dildo makes a great first toy

• You're in control. You decide the pace, depth, angle and pressure.
• Nothing to learn. No charging, buttons or apps, so you can focus on what feels good.
• Easy to clean. Non-porous silicone and glass wash in seconds.
• Versatile. Use it solo, during foreplay, with a partner, or in a harness.
• Affordable. Good beginner dildos start from around S$22.

1. Choose a body-safe material

The material decides how a dildo feels, how hygienic it is and how long it lasts. For a first toy, this matters more than anything else.

Tip: silicone lube can damage silicone toys over time, so pair silicone dildos with a water-based lube.

2. Pick the right size

Comfort beats size, especially at first. Most people find a smaller dildo more enjoyable to start with, because you can relax and focus on sensation instead of stretching.

How to check before you buy: width matters more than length. Compare the diameter on the product page with one or two fingers held together. If two fingers feel comfortable, a dildo of that width usually will too.

3. Choose a shape and texture

• Straight and smooth: the easiest to use the first time.
• Gently curved: angles toward the G-spot (or the prostate for anal play) for more focused pressure.
• Realistic: shaped like a penis, often with a suction-cup base.
• Textured: ridges and bumps add sensation but can feel intense at first. Save these for your second toy.

4. Check the base

The base matters for safety as well as convenience.

• Flared base: a wide base stops the toy going in too far. Any dildo used for anal play must have one.
• Suction cup: sticks to smooth surfaces like tiles, glass or a smooth chair, so you can use it hands-free in different positions.
• Harness-compatible: a flared or suction base also fits most strap-on harnesses, so the same toy can be used with a partner.

Our picks for your first dildo

All body-safe silicone or glass, and all beginner-friendly sizes.

Prices correct at time of writing. See each product page for current price and stock, or browse all dildos.

How to use a dildo for the first time

1. Wash it first. Clean your new dildo with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, then dry it.
2. Get comfortable. Choose a time you won't be rushed. Lying on your back with your knees bent is an easy first position.
3. Warm up. Arousal helps your body relax. Spend time with your hands, a vibrator or the dildo outside your body first.
4. Use plenty of lube. Apply water-based lube to the toy and to yourself. Add more whenever it starts to feel dry.
5. Go slowly. Press the tip gently against your entrance and breathe out as you ease it in. Stop and wait whenever you need to.
6. Experiment. Try shallow strokes, deeper ones, small circles and different angles. Tilting a curved toy toward your belly button targets the G-spot.
7. Listen to your body. Some new sensations are normal, but pain isn't. If it hurts, stop, add lube, slow down or try another day.

For anal play: only use a dildo with a flared base, use far more lube than you think you need, and go even slower. Never move a toy from anal to vaginal use without washing it first.

Using a dildo with a partner

Let your partner use the dildo on you during foreplay while you guide the pace, or use it during oral sex for combined sensations. A harness-compatible dildo with a strap-on harness also opens up pegging and strap-on play. If you share toys, wash them between partners or use a fresh condom over the toy each time.

Cleaning and storage

• Wash before and after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner.
• Let it dry completely before you put it away.
• Silicone (with no motor) and glass can be boiled for a few minutes for a deep clean. Never boil jelly, TPE or PVC.
• Store each toy in its own pouch. Silicone toys can react with other materials if they touch.

First dildo FAQs

What size dildo should a beginner start with?

Around 4 to 5.5 inches of insertable length and about 1 to 1.25 inches wide. Width matters more than length for comfort, so check the diameter on the product page.

Does using a dildo for the first time hurt?

It shouldn't. A little pressure or stretch is normal, but pain means you need more lube, more warm-up, a slower pace or a smaller toy. Stop whenever something doesn't feel right.

What's the safest material for a first dildo?

Body-safe silicone. It's non-porous, phthalate-free, easy to clean and lasts for years. Glass is also very safe if you prefer a firmer feel.

What lube should I use with a dildo?

Water-based lube works with every material and is the right choice for silicone. Silicone-based lube is fine with glass but can damage silicone toys.

Can I use a dildo for anal play?

Yes, but only if it has a flared or suction-cup base so it can't slip in too far. Use plenty of lube, go slowly, and wash it before any vaginal use.

Should I get a dildo or a vibrator first?

It depends on what you enjoy. If you're curious about penetration, a dildo is the simplest place to start. If you mainly enjoy clitoral stimulation, a vibrator may suit you better. Our beginner's guide to sex toys helps you decide.

How should I clean my dildo?

Wash it with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner before and after every use, and let it dry fully. Silicone without a motor and glass can also be boiled for a few minutes.

Will my order be discreet?

Yes. Every Pink Lifestyle order ships in plain, unmarked packaging. Same-day express delivery is available 7 days a week (free over S$80), Pink Rush can deliver in 60–90 minutes, and you can self-collect the same day from our Bendemeer collection point. See our Delivery Guide.

Final thoughts

Your first dildo doesn't need to be big, fancy or expensive. Choose body-safe silicone in a comfortable size, take your time, and enjoy learning what feels good for you. Your pleasure is personal. Permission granted.

Keep exploring: all dildos · water-based lubes · double-ended dildos · beginner's guide to sex toys