Economical Masturbation vs. The Big Bang: Different Goals for Self-Pleasure

Last May was Masturbation Month, and I had the (self-)pleasure of exploring another point of view when it, ahem, *comes* to touching ourselves, debunking myths about masturbation, gaining preparatory knowledge in starting our journey in self-pleasure, and ultimately, achieving a deeper (he he, too many puns!) understanding of ourselves.

But why should we masturbate anyway? It is one of the very few things in our adult life that we ourselves can do solely for ourselves. Masturbation is time and resources spent in uplifting our own quality of life.

According to Better Health, some benefits of masturbation include the following:

  • Boosts self-esteem
  • Encourages relaxation and promotes better sleep
  • Enhances satisfaction with partnered sex

Self-love and pleasure appear in many different forms – hand sex, oral sex, anal sex, vibrating sex, nipple sex, fast/slow sex, P/G-Spot sex – the list goes on! There are also different goals and different outcomes. News flash: the most popular goal – the orgasm – is not the only goal. One could be into tease and denial. One may feel the urge to touch because it makes them feel pretty. Maybe one prefers to watch. Personally, I like challenging myself to attain an orgasm within 10 seconds of using a clitoral vibrator in public throughout the day – something I like to call “economical masturbation” – so I can expend my monstrous sexual appetite and focus more on creating meaningful experiences for my partner/s during partnered sex in the evening. How about you?

The first step  in finding out is to start, and yes, that is always the hardest part (onward with the puns!). The trick is to be mindful and consider this as a personal developmental practice. It is a skill that can be honed and, therefore, must be practiced. It is exactly like studying yourself to give yourself the best sexual experience.

Erika Lust gives some of her best tips on how to start:

  • Set the mood. Invest and imagine that you are setting up date night with your best lover.
  • Remove sources of buzzkill. Identify what turns you off and find a way to manage or get rid of these during your session.
  • Go slow and touch everything. You do not have to go for the kill right away. Touch other parts of your body and try different positions.
  • Breathe. Breath is a powerful tool in kee us in the present moment and shaping the present moment the way you want it to go.

To summarize and as you begin your journey in masturbation, hopefully right after reading this article, keep in mind a few questions. Yes, taking notes, studying, and revising is the road to mastery.

  • What are you curious about?
  • What are certain kinks and fantasies that you have and why do you think you have these?
  • What are past experiences that you cannot stop thinking about?

So, what type of sex do you like?


Masturbation – Better Health Channel. (2021). Better Health Channel.

Mindful Masturbation for Someone Who Has Never Had an Orgasm. (2021, May 11). Erikalust.


JOYEN is a Sadistic Rope Bondage Dominatrix and Burlesque Stripper, with expertise in the art of macabre and seduction. Her favorite style is aesthetically-pleasing and acrobatic tormenting rope, and Her interest lies in the realm of elegant fetish and erotica. Nothing delights Her Infernal Majesty more than those willing to completely surrender their darkest and most vulnerable selves (and wallets) in the dangerous embrace of Her rope.

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